DIVING INTO THE "DRY" CONVERSATION

So, here's a little story about a topic that might make you uncomfortable or raise an eyebrow – yup, we're diving into the realm of the "dry" conversation. I’m not usually the shy type but even I’m feeling a little bashful right now. Deep breath and here it is - I have a dry vagina. 

Yep, I said it and I have a hunch I’m not alone facing a Sahara situation down south. Now, while I’m feeling serious vulnerability vibes, we’re here to shake things up because being human is a lot, messiness included! With that in mind, I feel comfortable speaking on behalf of many women who are tired of whispering about menopause. Now, let’s dive in.

Over a year ago, I thought I was dying. As intimacy started to feel like an awkward dance (think pain and discomfort), I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So I marched to my trusted OBGYN. Can you guess what they said? “You’re fine, no worries.” No medication or solution was offered. But it wasn’t just my doctor’s lack of care. Neither I nor my doctor took my loss of pleasure for a serious issue. In retrospect, I see how I outsourced my health and my pleasure to a doctor. I gave up my agency because pleasure, especially sexual pleasure for women, has little value in our culture. Our society loves handing out pills like candy, but what about help for women?

So what did I do following my uneventful doctor visit? I avoided getting intimate and over the following months felt the loss of sexual drive as I continued to ignore it all. I was afraid of the pain and I felt ashamed that at the age of 50 I was losing my oomph. You know, that sassy, spirited feeling that makes you feel like a million bucks?. … Yeah, that thing was gone and I thought it was my fault and there was something wrong with me and my body. 

Flash forward, and I finally took matters into my own hands. As more menopause information started popping up in the conversations I was having with other women and in the materials I was reading, I started to realize that I didn’t have to suffer. There was this magical thing called estrogen my body was losing but, I could still get it via vaginal gel inserts or patches. Estrogen, I’m onto you! It took a hot second to engage with a new doctor, try new medication but things began feeling better. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. Most importantly, I take myself and my pleasure seriously, I’ve begun educating myself on menopause so when I visit my doctor, I come prepared. I've begun pushing back when I’m dismissed or my pleasure is taken for granted. 

xo, Sheila V.