SEEKING TRUTH — BONDS Magazine

Dear friends,

Let’s start with a little exercise. For the next 3 minutes, don’t think about an orange tiger…

How did you do? If you are like most humans, you probably could not stop thinking of an orange tiger. Why? Because that’s how the human brain works. The more we try not to think of something, the more we think about it.

Thinking about an orange tiger is cute, but in the span of a day, we have many thoughts. While some can be good and positive, many of our thoughts can cause emotional pain. We remember an embarrassing moment and our thoughts have the power to take us down the rabbit hole of shame and impact our mood for the rest of the day.

What do we do with that?

Ace of Swords is an invitation to a new way of thinking, and the month of February is a call to get intimate with the way we think. When we question our thoughts and commit to looking for truth, we find freedom. The experience of life becomes more joyful.

Byron Katie, who after years of depression experienced a rebirth and transformation, is a teacher of one of the most elegant and profound processes to question our thoughts. She calls this process of inquiry, The Work.

First, identify a thought that made you feel sad or angry today. Then, ask these four questions to turn your thoughts to something more helpful for you.

Q1. Is it true?

Q2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

Q3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Q4. Who would you be without that thought?

As an example, there is one particularly painful thought that has been plaguing me on repeat since my now grown children have left the house. Being a parent to adult children is another kind of wonderful, but being a mother who now reflects on the years of their upbringing somewhat obsessively, is turning out to be quite painful.

Here is one of the painful thoughts: I was not a great mother.

Is that true? My answer, absolutely not true.
Still not true.
How do I react when I believe this thought? I beat myself up for the most random things I remember. Out of all the things I did with my kids, I have one memory of coming home late and my oldest wanting to play a monopoly game. I was so tired after commuting and working and we didn’t play monopoly that evening. But my brain keeps going there as if all the other times when we did play games didn’t matter. So this thought keeps me cringing and feeling small and guilty.
Who would you be without that thought? I would be a mother proud of my mothering, remembering how many things I did right and forgiving myself for the mistakes I made because I love my kids and they love me.

The next step in Byron Katie’s process is to turn the statement around. Is the opposite as true or truer than the thought you had that made you sad or angry?

My turn around is this: I am a great mother! Heck, yes I am and I’m sticking to it!

At first this process can feel odd and unnatural, but the power of finding the truth and not believing a thought simply because it bubbled up for you, is undeniable and freeing.

Give it a try, Ace of Swords is calling you to it.

Love,

Sylwia

For additional resources on Byron Katie’s work, click here. ♡