MICRO-KINDNESS IN ACTION, A Story of Feeling Seen

Dear friend,

Recently, I had to do a quick Costco run during my lunch hour. Admittedly, Costco shopping does not generally conjure images of an exciting tale but, stay with me, it might surprise you. 

Although Costco always seems to be heavily trafficked this time of year, I was sure I’d be back home in no time. My shopping list was short. Plus, I’m a pro and had a handy list of necessary items. Navigating between all the carts and distracted bodies wasn’t difficult, and I was making great time until I arrived at the checkout. 

The lines didn’t look long, but there seemed to be a general disarray. I’ll spare you the boring details of people moving in and out of lines, but as I queued up, a man moved out of his line, cut me off and pretended to belong in my line. While it is often important to stand up and call people out on their bad behavior, I didn’t want to waste my energy by getting into an argument with this dude, so I moved to another line. I wanted to get out of his negative energy sphere. 

As I stood there, reflecting on this man’s bad behavior, a woman passed by, gently touched my arm, and said, “Have a wonderful day, ma’am. A lot happened there.” Surprised, I froze. Then a wave of warm energy ran through my body. It felt healing. What was that?! 

In a split second, I realized that another human had seen what I’d experienced and thoughtfully validated it with a gentle touch and a kind word. I managed to thank her before she got too far away, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this brief interaction and how it lifted my spirit. This act of gentle kindness didn’t just balance out another human’s bad behavior, it elevated me. 

That’s what being seen does for our spirit. The woman’s action was not a momentous event, but the impact of her micro-kindness surprised me. It changed the trajectory of my day. When I came home, I didn’t tell my husband about the rude man in the line, as he’d become a minor character in a larger story of generosity of spirit and compassion. 

Life is made up of little things, of small gestures, micro actions and reactions. So, in a world where we are distracted by our phones, where we rarely look a stranger in the eye, where we are often disconnected from the goings-on around us, I entreat us all to stay present to the fact that our actions can transform another human’s day.

As the holiday season approaches and we become preoccupied with stuff and the acquisition of more stuff, I make a pledge to honor other humans with a smile and a kind word. Will you join me?


Love,

Sylwia

Abbas Qasim